February 15, 2021 2 min read
It has come to my attention in recent years that there are a whole lot of fashion people out there trying to reinvent "the man" in terms of style — dressing for himself, not his mate. They can't help it: The man's body is historically designed to hold the weight of his stuff (his brains, not his biceps; his youth, not his money); as a result, those assets speak louder than words ever could.
I bet you would be surprised to learn a male thong is good for your glute (butt) health. In fact, the male thong is quite crucial for glute health! (I know, it's been 5 years since I've tried on a pair of bikini bottoms for glute health reasons if that helps. But it's true.) Our glutes are our bodies' shock absorbers. Like landing on a wet T-shirt, we absorb the impact that puts a strain on bone and cartilage. When the glutes are tight, we're not absorbing as much impact— this translates to more risk of injury.
So what is a thong anyway?
Thongs are made of multiple rigid panels, and since they have a lower ride, they hug the body around the waist. That's huge because when a woman wears her underwear up, it's typically the top or bottom that rides. Now let me explain why that is bad: Since the glutes are supported by the thong, it actually pushes against the body's natural curves and forces the "seat of power" farther down the body, making everything look wider, like a movie extra from Deliverance or X-Men.
Men, you have power. Take it. To all the single guys reading this: No, you do not need to wear your tightest undergarments. Why? Well, a thong on its own is inflexible — it's not going to hold everything in place around the waist (remember, you are trying to capture your man's attention, not be fitted into a circus tent). I know it's intimidating, but let me show you: The rule of thumb is: the thinner the material, the better. So basically, go for something thicker to be more supported.
No, you do not need your glutes to hit the floor when you get up. That's what your butt does. And that "seat of power" that's pushed further down the body is not you. Every part of your body needs the unconditional support of underwear. No part of your body needs a seat up. So please. Don't wear your thong up. If you need it, buy yourself a matching pair, put them on, and then put those on while you do some squats. Your glutes will thank you.
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